Cry

There is a point. A point when your mind, your body just wants to quit. Just wants to cry. Misses having close friends, misses being able to say screw it for a day or two and not do homework, misses being a kid. I've reached that point. I'm trying to be normal, I'm trying to be a human, trying to participate in life...

I have depression. Sometimes I bounce back slower than others because of it.

My brother's baby has an enlarged kidney. Allegedly. By brother is a pathological liar. It makes life hard. You never know what to believe. We heard this from his girlfriend. So its true, probably. It will be amazing if this baby is born alive after all its been through.

My boyfriend. Is a dumb guy. I'm worried about us. His roommate has been treating me like dirt. Last night he called me a "ho" not once, not twice, but repeatability. Why? because I called while they were watching Gold Rush. It may prove to be the last straw in my relationship with my boyfriend. He did nothing to stop it, even after I asked him to.

Closing Argument Competition. I did it. I competed, I didn't advance to the next level, but neither did my friends. There were over 30 of us, and the next level only had 12. So eh whatevs. It meant I got to come home.

Homework. I cannot focus. Real life keeps pulling me away. I'm unable to dive into it and hide from reality as I have been doing the last few weeks. And its just getting harder. More reading. More expected. I'm catching on, getting the drift, able to handle the workload really well. Its just this semester I am not going to have time for ANY LIFE outside of school. What's to blame? 4 crazy classes, and THE Appellate Brief! AHHHHHH. Its a BOOK, literally like a BOOK I have to write this semester. Ya. In addition to Contracts, Constitutional Law, Civil Procedure, Criminal Law, and Basic Legal Research. Its just so much. It'll be ok. It has to be okay. I'll get this.

I need to re-focus on the light. My trip to France this summer. I need to just work towards that. Deep breaths. Its going to be okay. It has to be.